loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
