nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
im on a boat
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