on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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