Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
