I'd wear matching sweaters with you
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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