I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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