got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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