Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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