I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize