Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Two words: blizzard sex
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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