One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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