If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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