we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
