god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
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