Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Can Purell be used as lube?
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
