i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
