I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i jhust puked up my retainher.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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