The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
