do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
