the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
