My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize