Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
