If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
