im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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