Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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