The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
