If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
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