Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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