HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
