your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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