Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I cut my penus on the lid.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
That accounts for only three of the penises
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
