I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
