i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
