Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
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