She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
