My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Randomize
