I wannas sexs uuuuu
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
