Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
My dick has a subreddit
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
