Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I need to align my fucking chakras
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
