i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
