Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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