She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
