You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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