She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Randomize
