The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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