well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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