I'm eating all of the evidence.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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