I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
