I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
