So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
