made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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