the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
