i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
