How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
