Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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