Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
