nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
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