'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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