How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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