I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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