Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize