i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
All I want is dick and wine.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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